I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
When are your genitals available?
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
Randomize
