thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
Randomize
