so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
Randomize
