No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
i just woke up with two martini umbrellas taped to my nipples... idk how they got there
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
Randomize
