I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
Randomize
