What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
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