Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
Randomize
