I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
Randomize
