I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
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