Slut skills are useful in every country.
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
The beers last night were like the tears from god
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
Randomize
