Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
I smell like Dick and happiness
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
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