That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
I have already put on my inside pants.
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
