Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Randomize
