just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
Randomize
