I think I'm pregnant with his hipster baby. It keeps kicking my stomach to the beat of mgmt songs.
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
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