There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
Randomize