Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
It was his birthday this weekend. I had to carry him 6 blocks, in 3 inch heels. The entire time he was trying to molest me, eat my face, and try to stop every two feet to tie his shoe. He would light a cigarette, forget about it, almost burn everyone, throw it out, then decide he wanted to smoke. He kept repeating that he trusts me with his life.
...Wow...
I could be a kindergarten teacher
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
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