He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Randomize
