now i know why i became what i already was.
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
Randomize
