i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
Randomize
