ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
My dermatologist just asked me, "what happened here?" referring to the bruising on my nipples. I told her I walked into a door. Thanks for that awkward moment.
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Randomize
