Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
