Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
Randomize
