He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
Randomize
