There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
Randomize
