Bisexual people are plain selfish.
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
Randomize
