Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
Randomize