I have demons in me.
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
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