Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
How does one acquire holy water?
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
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