i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
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