u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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