What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
Just rolled up to a matinee showing of THE HOBBIT. At the dollar theater. Alone. In sweats. With a fifth of sunnybrook and leftover pizza in a ziplock. There's a dude here in cape with his elderly mother. I'm handling this breakup FIIIIIINE.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
Randomize
