We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Randomize