This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
My mom is pretending to be Paula Deen while making breakfast...I'm pretty sure she's sober.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Randomize
