Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
I wish life had little blips of pornography
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
Randomize
