Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
Randomize
