Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
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