It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
Randomize