I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
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