So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
Randomize
