can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
I really wish I could go back in time to change the course of events that led to me sitting on the internet at 3 Googling 'Traumatic masturbation' while talking to you about failed dates, and running a virtual restaurant in a video game.
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
Randomize
