Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
Hi. This might be awkward, but I met you on saturday at about 330 am. I have to admit I don't remember your name, what we talked about, or various details of how I got home. What I do remember is that I was invested enough in getting your number to ask my cab driver for a pen to write it down since my phone was dead. So do you want to meet, soberer, some time?
Hey bro I think you got the wrong number I'm a dude
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
Randomize
