Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
Randomize
