that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
Randomize
