She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
