false alarm. still invincible.
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
Randomize
