I just gift wrapped bread.
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
Why is there uncooked bacon under my bed?
You insisted on taking it to bed with you. You grabbed it out of the fridge while mumbling "If I leave this out, you fuckers are just going to ruin it."
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
Randomize
