Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize
