i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
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