Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
Randomize
