video games are the ultimate cock blocker
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
Randomize
