Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
Randomize
