i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
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