Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
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