Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
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