Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
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