Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
how drunk are you?
Several
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
