Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
Okay, this next statement may sound like a red flag but I'm tellin you, shotgunning those two beers really helped me love my child more effectively. Honest.
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
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