no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
On valentines day I took a girl on a date that I suspect was homeless
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
Randomize