And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
How's the hangover?
I've been begging my dog to mercy kill me for over an hour. He has this look like he might do it, you know, as my best friend should.
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
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