Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
Randomize
