i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
Randomize
