i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
Randomize
