No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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