i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
Randomize
