Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
