Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
Randomize